Moved In...Sort Of.

Things I've learned:
1. When closing on a house, you will be told your "payoff date." Depending on the terms of your mortgage, this date could be 30 years from the present date. May 12, 2041, is 30 years from the day we closed. Make sure you are sitting down for that part of closing.

2. Don't try to move a sectional couch in from the garage at 11 p.m. on the day you move. You will put a hole in the screen of the front door with the feet of the couch...and likely cry about it. Then you will wake up the next morning and figure out you could have unscrewed the feet from the couch for extra clearance, and you will feel dumb. Really. Really. Dumb.

3. Listening to "You Make My Dream Come True" by Hall and Oates does not turn every life experience into a light-hearted montage. In fact, it makes many life experiences downright ironic. For instance, listening to this song has the opposite effect when you are painting a wall at 10 p.m. on a Saturday night, taping off every piece of trim and fighting over the one roll of painter's tape. With this song, time actually SLOWS down, and that part where we should be playfully stuffing wedding cake into each others' mouths ala The Wedding Singer, turns into us ripping up garbage bags and taping them to the wall as drop cloths. (Awful pun alert:) We rolled with it with the help from that second bottle of champagne (though we had to drink it from giant beer steins because they are the only glassware we have been able to unpack).

4. Josh likes to be a man. Let me look up the definition of "man" for you:
Noun: An adult human male.
Verb: Provide (something, esp. a place or machine) with the personnel to run, operate, or defend it: "man the pumps".

Josh looked it up too. Here's what he found:
Noun: An adult human male capable of installing a doorknob incorrectly 3 times in one hour.
Verb: Provide your female counterpart with the necessary tools to successfully eradicate unwanted pests: "Anna, I'm going to man up and let you kill the menagerie of spiders in the basement with this here vacuum."

5. If I was ever going to contract tetanus in my life, this weekend was probably the most likely time. Staying up-to-date with your tetanus shots is important, and Josh assures me that I am "probably up-to-date." I'm not sure what the symptoms are of tetanus, but I am convincing myself that the tighteness in my fingers is from squeezing the trigger on the windex bottle enough times to go through one and a half bottles. Upside: our windows are clean.

6. I have a new-found appreciation for ceiling fans with four blades as opposed to five. That fifth blade somehow attracts more dust than the previous four.